Need advice? or a yummy recipe? Mrs. Maddie Belle, has you covered in this new and fun column. If you would like to contact Mrs. Mattie, please email office@guthrienewsleader.net.
Dear Mrs. Maddie, I have a conundrum and just don’t know what to do. I am about to pull my hair out (and I don’t have much more to lose!) I am hoping you can help me. I just cannot sit out on my front porch and enjoy this beautiful spring weather that we are about to have! You see... I feel like I am being watched if I do. The reason is my neighbor (God bless her little heart) has all of her security cameras pointed at MY house! I can’t have company over without her inquiring who was here. She calls me to tell me someone is at my door before they even knock. She calls to ask where I’m at if my car isn’t home. She calls to tell me someone walked through my yard, picked a flower out of my yard or even dropped off a package. Why I can’t even pee off my own front porch without her watching! What is a person to do!? I can’t afford to move. I’ve tried “joking” about it and not always nicely. She just cackles and snorts and goes on her merry way.
HELP!
Janet Dear Janet, I have found the best way to deliver a message is through a nicely worded note accompanied by a memorable delivery such as cookies. May I suggest you bake her a sweet batch of Fluffer Nutter Cookies. I suggest Fluffer Nutters for two reasons. One, they are made of peanut butter which has a natural way of sticking to your mouth. Second, it’s a great segway into letting your nosey neighbor know anything that happens on your property is “Nutter” her business. Not to mention the gooey marshmallow which perfectly represents the gooey delivery of your message. Before we get to the note, lets make the cookies.
First start with preheating your oven to 350 degrees, which is also the amount of degrees your neighbor will do when they receive your sweet hint.
In a large bowl add ½ cup of creamy peanut butter, 1 stick of unsalted butter and beat together until whipped. Add in 1 cup of light brown sugar (packed) and 1 egg. Turn your mixer on and beat in until smooth. Turn your mixer off add in 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, 1 teaspoon of cornstarch, ½ teaspoon of kosher salt and mix together until you have a cookie dough consistency.
Next part is the fun part! Grab a bag of large marshmallows, open the bag. Immediately eat one for quality control purposes.
With scoop out 2 tablespoons of dough. Well, lets do one tablespoon first, spoon it out, place one marshmallow on the tablespoon of dough, spoon out one more tablespoon and form the dough around the marshmallow. Complete this until you have 9 on a standard cookie sheet. Wait wait wait, did you prepare your cookie sheet? Crap! Grab your parchment paper and line your sheet. If you put your cookie balls directly on your cookie sheet, that’s okay too, you will just have to wait to put them on your wire rack for cooling.
Once a dozen cookies have completely cooled, transfer onto a nice paper plate (not the dollar twenty five tree plates that cant hold any weight). If it’s just your nosey neighbor, perhaps only take half dozen, if they have an entire watch party full living next door, plate an entire dozen, one for everyone. Cover in foil, but not before enclosing the following note on your favorite stationary: Dearest neighbor, Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought you were kind by keeping me in the loop, Your excessive calls, text, emails and stalking of my every move Has me thinking you watch me in the loo.
Your intentions maybe true, However, your cameras need to be facing you.
Should there be a true emergency at my house Feel free to call… you know who?
The POLICE as they would know just what to do.
Please enjoy the Fluffer Nutter Cookies I have made, just for you. Let them be a reminder your kind, and sweet gestures of observing my home need not to be part of your daily routine. I welcome you to share a kind word, or two every now and again, but please lets just be neighborly as nothing happening over here is quite frankly, “Nutter” your business.
All my best, Janet Janet, I do hope this helps your situation. I do hate your predicament, however nosey neighbors and how to handle them can be tricky.
Best regards, Mrs. Mattie